I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
