he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
