I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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