bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
