ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
