Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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