I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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