my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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