After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
