Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
