Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize