Non-Jews are for practice
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
