p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
