There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize