We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
