Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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