Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
