Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
