so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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