Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
