what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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