He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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