Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
