That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
