Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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