I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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