meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
