Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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