please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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