Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
