how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
