Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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