hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
