Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
