his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
how does that bad decision feel?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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