i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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