yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
