Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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