Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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