I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Dignity is for republicans.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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