i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
