ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
