How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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