my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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