I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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