giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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