Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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