What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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