At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I can text with my tongue
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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