You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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