i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
