i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
bring money and cleavage
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Dick very happy bro
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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