We're facebook friends in real life
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
