yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I need a burrito and a hug.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
