no. you can't hotbox the world.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
