I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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