so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
