shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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