$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
In America we eat man semen.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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