Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
