even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
