Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
