I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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