Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
