I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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