Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
What a dumb baby whore.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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