I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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