ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
